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Like We Knew What It Meant

by Danvers

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1.
catch me longing for the sound of those last few winters the thrills of crawford county lines to keep us in talk of things worth hanging on to and if I had to explain it, well I wouldn’t know where to begin so I’ll dodge the end try to stay grateful, and sincere hold on to all fleeting years find the meaning in some shouted words and power chords call it when you see the ride we’ll stay true forever with better things unfolding there so, tear it apart and on the way back down we’d sing together as it gets harder to see a life much better than this I’d like to stay grateful, and sincere hold on to all fleeting years but could I fall in love with some shouted words still be awe-struck by power chords till I’m face down Not facing where I've been but where I'm going An uncertain future built with mortar and bricks Or underground picks So I may have nothing but nothing's got nothing on me We may have nothing but nothing's more than we'd ever need (But do you still feel it when lights go down and strings ring out?) Don't say it was nothing when it meant the world to me (Was it more than just a song, was it more than heartfelt?) To some it meant nothing but it means the world to me
2.
Cliff Jumper 03:25
so this is how the year’s going? we’re choking, and grasping at straws like a child mostly, if it’s a consolation these days I just battle myself god, am I actually fucking saying this? because I’m having trouble breathing in; its in my head will the progression lock it in? did my heroes go through this? now we’re a couple ok records in… the nostalgia play’s the worst the mindkiller (ok, shift the blame, without having much to show) and you’re sitting through…. distantly, she called to see how I was still doing she said something like “you’re lonely” and i said “how can that be? why, I often see my best friends in a daydream they’re cheering for me, but they’re seventeen” you can write a solid song it’s not difficult at all they would hear it once, and they’d all sing along to be something you could’ve thrown out years ago but the parts shouldnt change so much - maybe today you wouldn’t feel something wrong no more checking your chest for a heartbeat or examining things that we missed keep yourself from reveling in the sadness of everything make note of the red that crashes through like waves on their way makes you want to run the fire you neglect inside has no way to fight but this will you tune it out? are you feeling it right now?
3.
MoshPolice 01:48
it’s late, but I know you can find the way home, as the kids stare with their disbelief, and their half-in codes they grip tired arms to the mic, and it’s god, starting fights screaming lines they thought they had memorized one last time am I failing to convey, as old cities fade away the remainders are aging out every day they’re bitter and they’re sidetracked I’m not beaten, yet one day this stormcloud’s gonna break, friend - you’ll meet it left behind on turnpikes, I’m still dreaming of those erie days from shuttered stages, missing bands they all seem to say “this is the only thing…” but I’ve got this chorus right now the old believers sing and the rest grind their lives away check what you’re gaining on compared to them you’re on fire
4.
can I see you’re torn between continually crying, and some sense of normalcy? (everyone claps from the sidelines, but me (and sings) for I am overjoyed often compelled (to avoid a self-certain end) to scrutinize the frame, and that look (in your eyes)? and turn it into a love song again there’s nothing to forgive, so let safety win took the time, thought a lot, it’s just one more sad ride back to the station with him then let it pass away don’t look back, don’t say you’ve arrived, or goodnight (or at least don’t start it) don’t say anything like a sudden fall how you both kept it cool, played it off after a year spent caving in, you’ll be alright wait for me, wait for me, no (could never) the horns drown it out I’ve learned to be an anchor and let it ride, see you on the jersey side was it all you missed? louder still departures, wearing thin in a kinder home. you fought like hell
5.
what hit me then: “you’ve got secrets” spoke like every lot she was ever dealt a kind of home you learn to live with I thought back to that night and the cover-up but it’s lost in uncertainty, and the evening fog of our summer love heaven is real, but it’s only when we’re in the same damn room but I didnt say that we’re sitting on the bed from when I moved out - driving straight through, and I kinda thought “I’ll win us back”. as the sparrow took flight -- I brushed it off the hope that you keep inside is never-ending as I fling myself from balconies dancing, and stepping off-time the simple things that went unsaid, all caught up in the end. but your art, still it does me in but i’ll never see you again no, i’ll never see you again
6.
7.
slow breath, and it’s over, if we could have learned anything from this - the driveway ends, at your house and you’ll never have to go through something like that ever again take them down then like poetry - light them up, or just pass them off to someone else you will trust again only look back once or twice you’ll never see me alive listen, i’m not the suitor you thought and you’re living through the lowest point yet I’ll never find it as lonely as when i’m right beside you and I catch myself imagining you walking out should I get someone to help tonight, when my skull cracked in i was kissing her for what I thought was the last time and I leapt from the deep where my heart used to be but i still sank I found out, I was still, I was married, beneath but I still sank
8.
Crash & Sink 02:50
could you just tell me if we’re not talking anymore? it would be slightly easier to understand stuck with my reasons I made up why you haven’t written back content to argue with your contact and I can’t recall a single word you painted us on that canvas you showed me as incomplete drove you crazy, If I’d have known it would be the last, man, I drove you straight to his haven’t decided if it was difficult, but its a way to end it to sever the connection we made back in march the reason I was such a pain as the dance we ran was like hell again was I knew you were with someone else so let the cigarette burn out I’ve got to finish this with some decency now that a couple years have passed since I touched verse one but should I keep the hook? we were both the same, and would I have done it any differently if you weren’t alone, distraught on your bed (with that song on) so let the cigarette burn out did you lie like nobody’s business that last day? had this one all wrong but I already got five songs about how I fucked it up did you lie like nobody’s business that last day?
9.
getting up there and half of what you earn why do I do this to myself? ...anyone?
10.
it had a lot to do with whatever it took, at least at first and johnny, well things eventually wound down for him what we don’t face, it’ll tear us apart and the dog in our head so often bites back don’t try to forget too much stay locked in the basement I was thinking those things, that I would say to you last week in my car, I had standards on something was resonant in those last ones we wrote “where did we go wrong” and the struggles that I’ve had when you hit me with that so exceedingly deft. real bands, and rad songs and ransoms, and “I have problems backing down” should’ve seen it then it all ends tonight, with a thread that’s one-sided there’s no one diving in, and the ultimate, well, it fails again don’t try to forget too much stay locked in the basement I was thinking those things, that I would say to you last week in my car, I had standards on something was resonant this all started as just a bullshit attempt, another lost friend (can you believe) “wish we could’ve seen eye to eye, man“ but I wasnt able to go through - with any of it so collapse, let old brothers collapse.
11.
how could I survive in this extricated life? this is best written over months and it was well-wished from the start will i run out of things to say? no, fall in, then fall away I’ve had so many friends accept who they once were, and then moved on the same ones I hear from every 3 or 4 years every cadence will end, every scene, and the whole damn record drips defeat what if we all sang along but the songs weren’t anthems after all
12.
13.
Best Episode 03:37
now It’s try out season feeling like I’m caught between what we said or just suffering a tragedy lost on me stop me if you’ve heard this one before to cover-up mistakes when nothing felt in place the silver glimmers at my face, i’m guiding right but I could be not across the yard and we’ve stopped being crushed by the weight of a solid mile, a decent face or a reason to be there anymore arriving at our best-laid in the makeshift afternoons if we end up anywhere but here, just hold them, too every day it was the best episode we’d sing our hearts out, if we’d ever known how it all could end forget it man, just pile in this pavement leads to a northern sound take your time, but dont check couldnt bear the waste of another midwest sunset in the keystone state, where I should have been arriving at our best-laid in our makeshift afternoons if we’re going anywhere but here, save them if you can say goodbyes walking to your house the last day we’d ever get caught got about one summer left just give us something to work toward PA lights on a saturday nowhere else is home but I know they’re fading and most are lost but the golden few are with me until I’m dead, until i’m gone walking to your house the last day we’d ever get caught got about one summer left just give us something to work toward every day it was the best episode we’d sing our hearts out, if we’d ever known
14.
rain on, just drive it home when there’s not much wrong you’re lying on if I could hold on to maturity or a passing semblance of I threw out all that kid owned watched as it floated past the river side saw it caught in debris and well, isn't that just how life often goes? the irony - not lost on me how can I concede, and leave behind all the shit that I believed when I was 29? will it fall to the wayside? I’m still not saying we gave it up we tried like hell - and the words are not quite what you thought they were but they caught up (disregard it) pick yourself up, and run far away the swan song of a sorry decade every day’s an opportunity to be better

credits

released May 1, 2023

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Matt Very at Very Tight Recordings

Guest vocals Track 1 by Fred Oakman
Guest vocals Track 14 by Nycolle Madureira

Additional vocals: Sean Naccarelli, Brandon Hoy, Kit Keiper

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Danvers Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Skate / emo

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